The North Face

Gatekeeper 2.0 Jacket - Men's

Glass half empty: you got sent to the underworld. Glass half full: it's a frozen tundra, and you have your skis and The North Face Men's Gatekeeper 2.0 Jacket. Not only does this jacket's HyVent shell shed snowspray with reliable waterproof breathable protection, it also fends off all the snowballs thrown by your old bullies (because they're down here too unfortunately). You didn't think you'd need it down here, but body-mapped Heatseeker insulation gives warmth where you need it most.

The North Face also equipped the Gatekeeper 2.0 with long zippers under each arm for ventilated airflow. The adjustable hood is removable, which is great because it never snows down here despite all the powder stashes you seem to find, and the powder skirt helps with that too. Hook-and-loop tabs helps keep breezes out of the sleeves, and a drawcord at the hem offers the same assistance. Sneak your phone into the depths with the internal media pocket, just so you can call your friends up above and ask them how all those snow-less clouds are, suckers.